Guest Blog Post by Caledonia Dawson

The Crazy Cross-Dressing Ibarra Chocolate Coffee Drink

I'm normally wary of foods that have the term 'loco' in the title. Loco is a fun word, with its bouncy little internal rhyme and near-universal recognition among even the least linguistically sophisticated of us in los Estados Unidos. But, really, who would willingly want to consume something labeled as 'crazy'? There seems to be a Taco Loco in every city, for example, but the idea of a Crazy Taco only conjures images of Mad Cow disease to me. No thank you.

All of this goes through my head as I scan the Los Bagels menu above my head, looking for something hot and sweet, and my eye catches on the Loco Mocha. Made with genuine Mexican Ibarra chocolate, this drink is like Univision's Sabado Gigante: pure frothy delight.

But even as the Loco Mocha satiates my taste buds, its enigmatic name prompts my mind to quibble. Why loco? Mocha is a feminine word, surely it should be modified by the feminine version of the adjective. Loca Mocha would seem more grammatically correct. Hm. But maybe it's one of those crazy cross-dressing Spanish nouns like manos, or hands, which should be masculine but is in fact las manos, feminine. Or el vestido, meaning "dress," which you would think, as men don't wear dresses, should certainly be a feminine noun but is masculine.

I am suddenly reminded of crossing the border at Nuevo Laredo after a long and sweaty trip on a Greyhound back from Jalisco and having a sudden moment of panic because I couldn't remember the difference between zapatos and Zapatas. Which wouldn't be a big deal, except that I was bringing a pair of shoes that my friend had had me pick up at a shoe store in Guadalajara back to Texas with me and I didn't really speak Spanish and it suddenly occured to me that I didn't really know this guy that well and I hadn't checked the shoes to make sure they didn't contain...umm...stuff that the border patrol would surely be interested in. And if the German Shepherds weren't suspicious, Customs surely would be when I told them I had Zapatas in my bag. Imagine their surprise when they opened my duffel and found contraband instead of a Mexican revolutionary!

Okay, deep breath. I love how Los Bagels always manages to bring me back to memories of Mexico (which I did successfully return from, my friend's zapatos in hand). I've decided that the Loco Mocha can be whatever it wants to be--who am I to say whether it should call itself a boy or a girl? As long as it keeps being delicious.

Caledonia Dawson

Thanks Caledonia for your "Guest Blog Post."  To read more of her work, check out her two blogs...they are very well written and capture the essence of life in Humboldt... and the Humboldt Bachelorette will have you laughing out loud.  http://www.humboldtbachelorette.blogspot.com & whyilovehumboldt.blogspot.com